http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk The daily life of a 24 hour petrol station cashier on the night shift en-gb http://flickr.com/photos/marc_smith/498770095/ http://flickr.com/photos/marc_smith/498770095/ So, tonight has been WAY more interesting than the previous few nights. First of all, Miss C has declared that we are not working hard tonight as we deserve our last break. And so say all of us. Thing is, tonight is my last night before my night off. I was never going to bust a nut working tonight anyway. I know...not the attitude, but I work for a company that...well...I will get into that later! Tonight we have had our share of random customers. First of all we had drunks, who are lovely because they are regulars, playing tag in the store. Well...tag with a twist. If you get hit by a packet of flying jaffa cakes OR tagged, then you are it. I am seriously considering stealing this idea and franchising it to drunks across the country. Others must be aware of jaffa cake tag. The same drunks also did something that I found pretty amusing. They distracted the most sober member of their group, then emptied a case of creame eggs into his basket. And shook it up so they were distributed across the basket. He got so angry. And whilst he got angry, they put a bottle of cat milk in his basket. That tipped him over the edge and made him yell at them. They weren't finished. They popped a party popper in the guy's ear leading him to scream and shout "I can't f*cking hear! You've f*cking deafened me in one ear!" Then there is Miss C herself. My god. I was not kidding when I told The Scotsman that all I would be getting tonight would be complaining whinging. All night it has been "Well he hasn't done this" or "He didn't do that well did he" To the point where she has actually just interupted my break to tell me something he didn't do. My break. My me time. But the kicker of the night has been Queen Chav phoning me up. She wanted to know if I could work Friday. Well, unfortunately I have a party to go to on Friday. Which I told her when she phoned me. So then she asked whether or not I could work tonight. I mean...I have worked 10 days in a row. The SF equivilent of 2 weeks worth of shifts, and she asks me whether I can work one more? This is why I am looking at ways out of this place. I know all companies put demands on employees, but I felt like asking her why don't I just work another 4 days huh? Make it a fortnight without a day off. I've told her I will think about Friday and let them know tomorrow. Better be nice to me. http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk So, tonight I am working with The Scotsman. It's actually been a pretty decent night. I mean, he gets on with his work, he doesn't talk too much, he knows what needs to be done and does it. He is far better to work with than Miss C. Plus he is a smoker, so cigarette breaks are acceptable by his standards. And so say all of us...well...me! But again, as with most nights lately, not a lot is happening. Although we have just had a group of kids come in and tell us that they wanted cigarettes, despite none of them looking over about 14. So they asked for matches. They didn't realise you still need to be over 16 for matches too. So they kicked up fuss until I came over and put them straight. It's funny, I am sitting here with this week's local paper open at the job section (not intentional, it was found that way) and for the first time in a long time, I am looking through the ads to see if there is anything I could do. I don't exactly hate the job, but I do feel like maybe it's time to move on. Although this blog will always remain! The funniest thing that happened last night was The Scotsman's constant barrage of insults and abuse towards The Troll. He is getting less and less patient about us cracking jokes about him. I don't think it will be too long before he cracks and either lashes out physically or verbally. Verbally I can deal with, because he isn't that smart. Hence the reason I think he might lash out physically. Problem for him is that there are so many cameras in store (including ones he isn't aware of) that he's bound to get caught. http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk Tonight is yet another dull night. Few customers, little work to do because dayshift have been scarily efficient, and Miss C is not being her talkative self. Strange things are afoot at the Circle S. However, there was one highlight. We had a policeman we call Kiwi come in. We call him this because he has an Aussie accent but it's odd, so I think he is from New Zealand. Anyway, his normal patrol territory is Lymington and the area, and the New Forest Car Parks. Tonight he has been assigned the same, plus Ringwood and the edge of Salisbury. Those who know the area will know this is a vast area. And his car? A panda. He's not what you would call a happy bunny about the situation. As for the cat yesterday, well, it is still up to it's tricks. Not here, but Miss C took it home, fed and watered it, then let it go. And took her kid to playgroup. When she ccame back, it was sitting on her doorstep. Eventually she took it to the vets. I told her that she should have brought it to SF and let them deal with the issues we had. This said, tonight we have got great thing happening. The lottery machine keeps rebooting. Not really an issue for us as we're not allowed to use it. But it's going to be fun for the dayshift in the morning. Also, I cannot wait to come back from my holiday. Because apparently I am going to be getting a four day week. Well, as long as I still get paid the same amount, I am not fussed. And as long as it isn't a permanent arrangement either. Screw having three days a week off. I may complain about my job, but my days off do become somewhat boring. Being a recluse isn't as much fun as you may believe! Sigh...so, I had yet ANOTHER meeting with Queen Chav and Shoe. This time about Miss C and The Bombshell. I told them my side of the story (sorry, all hush hush for now) and then discovered that Queen Chav is as stupid as she appears. She tried reasoning that I needed to work tonight because otherwise I would have a 4 day week. I argued that having tonight and Thursday off made it a 5 day week. She couldn't see how that worked, and therefore had to be argued with. Hey ho, means I just need to get through tonight and tomorrow (easy) and then have almost a long weekend. Methinks I shall go shopping in Southampton Friday. Am taking myself to Southampton for a nice day out on Monday (my birthday!) http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk Tonight has been...eventful. First I have decided to ditch my INQ1, namely because it sucks. Yes it was new, yes t was somewhat expensive, however, the S2 that I had before does the job far, far better. I mean, why have an internet phone which has problems connecting to the internet? And why have a new model phone which can't get as good signal as the previous model? Bah. Three will be hearing from me soon! Then there is work. You see, I am working with Miss C, and trying not to chat. In her mind, this means I am in a mood with her. Actually it's just me trying to do my job! And yet she still keeps interupting me with inane questions. But the worst one was the fact that she called me out to attend to a "situation". Said situation was a cat. Yes, as in the domestic feline variety. It wandered it and was adamant about staying the night. We were less enthused. So a customer offered to take it home. Except she did, it escaped, and came back. So I threw it over an embankment (not a steep one, it fell maybe a foot and landed safely). It followed me back to the store. It is now in Miss C's boyfriend's van, with a bowl of food. Now you see, I love cats, however, Miss C apparently loves them more as she took an HOUR to deal with the cat problem. I've now left her grumpily facing up, having not been able to blog on my first break due to dealing with the cat. And right now, I am sitting in the canteen, trying to find Queen Chav on Facebook so I can add her as a friend! Mad? Perhaps... Unfortunately, I couldn't find her, and full fat Facebook broke my mobile. Shame. Perhaps tomorrow morning! And then there was the very, very strange incident in the morning. Queen Chav was...nice to me. More than nice actually...she made a joke. With me. Her hated nemesis. We have been trying to antagonise and wind each other up for 5 years, and she finally makes a joke with me. Wierd when everything is going to hell at the store. http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk So tonight is being yet another boring night. I'm working with Miss C and Slaphead, and trying my best to do my work, except it's hard when people won't stop badgering with with questions they should know the answer to (like can a customer use our phone) and stupid little things like why they haven't got their car with them. I'm also having to put up with their clique, which since The Scotsman attacked Miss C, and she had an attack of the dizzies and the waterworks, has become even more cliquey. Yay me. So far I've been told that I wouldn't be missed if I left, and that they both dislike me. Discreet huh? The best part is that Slaphead told me that he was sick of the issues between The Scotsman and Miss C and The Bombshell and Miss C. Does he not see a common element here? Can he not see that she stirs up more trouble than anyone else in the store? I guess it must be down to the fact that he protects her to such an extent, that he can't see the woods for the trees. However, Miss C and I do have a rather fun little plan for him. We're going to send him to get the empty cages. Thing is - I piled as many cages as I could into the covered area. Well, it rained, and we're not allowed wet cardboard. But the covered area at night is really spooky. So much so that he refuses to go in. Hell, I refuse to go in. Should be fun to see his reaction when he sees what we have set up for him! But perhaps one of the wierdest things that happened last night was Miss C had to see Shoe and Queen Chav at 6am in a secrety secret meeting. Now, when she came out her face was very red - literally. Not sure if she had been crying or getting angry, but she was very red faced. Curiouser and curiouser. The other odd thing is that Queen Chav didn't mention that the rota had been changed this week. Which is strange since we haven't been told that The Bombshell is back this week, and unless he is, The Scotsman will be on his own on Tuesday... http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk So, tonight Miss C and I are working together. Alone. Not good. She never shuts up! And encourages me to talk. Anyway, tonight she has been bugging me over the location of this blog. She wants to know the goss while she is away on materinity leave. I've told her no. Thing is, I love writing this thing anonymously. As I said to her, I could write "...and I hate them all, I hope they all fall over on broken glass in the car park in the morning" and there is no way to trace it back to me. Far less when we are Co-op. More stores, more scenarios, more probability that similar things could happen in similar stores. As for the night. It has been dead. Properly dead. We've had maybe 20 customers and it's now 1am. Right now I am sitting in the canteen, almost through my first packet of 50p Jaffa Cakes (brand name, not own brand!) and have gloriously not done a vast amount. I'll make it up tomorrow as I am now, inevitably, going to miss my Linux meeting (damnit). We also had problems with The Troll. This guy just has no concept of...well...anything! He keeps wandering around, claiming that his partner is a director of the co-op. Shame that apparently she seems to know nothing about anything. He claims she said that the sale has already happened. Wrong. He claims that the other stores have been sold. Wrong. As I said to The Old Man, it's not hard to see that his partner's position at Co-op is actually BS. Plus we had the usual Friday random customers. Like a kid who thought that dressing in a nice shirt, nice trousers and very nice jacket could be finished off with...a hoodie. The hoodie was under the shirt, and the hood was pulled up. He looked like some kind of dapper monk. Then there was a guy who asked Miss C if, whilst serving him, whether she could check the balance on his debit card. Yes, of course we can do that. I mean, we already steal your details and PIN numbers, why not check your balance too? Some people's understandings of just what access we have over bank stuff astounds me. As I said to Miss C, my reply would have been "No, but...wow...damn...we can see how many times you've been overdrawn this month. Ouch." http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk So, when I arrived this evening, The Scotsman and The Tall Pole were having a slanging match. The Scotsman was shouting about how terrible dayshift are, and The Tall Pole was attempting to defend himself. So I told The Scotsman it was none of his business and that The Bombshell would be getting the business end of things. Turns out, The Bombshell has been suspended over what happened between himself and Miss C. Curioser and curiouser, especially since Pedro stated that he felt both were as wrong as each other in the matter. So tonight I am working with The Scotsman on our own. The interesting thing is that he is complying with what I ask him to do. Normally he does not. And there not not a vast amount to do tonight. The worst thing is reverse facing up. This is where you get one of the products at the front of the shelf and everything else at the back. It is purely for stocktake purposes, but still a royal pain in the backside. The upshot of it is though that we will only have to work the chilled, meat and produce, which totals about 120 tops. And woith both of us working our backsides off, it should be a reaally easy shift. I cannot wait for it to turn up, and then to end almost as quickly. That is about it for today. Short, sweet, and without incident so far. http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk So, I came into work tonight and found The Hero was in charge. Hurrah. Not. However, he did get his staff to face up the store, which is always a bonus. Anyway, then he told me that The Bombshell was working for 7 days in a row in 2 weeks time and that I wasn't supposed to be in. Turns out, even as a supervisor, he can't read the new rotas. It was actually me and The Bombshell working. I mean, seriously, if supervisors can't read the rotas, which neither The Hero nor The Bombshell can, what hope do the rest of us have? Plus there was already a funny incident. The Bombshell took his fleece off, and I heard it crackling like a tiny thunderstorm with static electricity. I knew what was about to happen, you know what was about to happen, but, unfortunately, it would appear they don't have static electricity in Poland. He grabbed the metal gate of the tills and yelped "Ouch! That is hurt!" I laughed and said "I knew that was going to happen. Didn't you wonder why I kept away from you when I got my coffee?" We just had a girl come in who was wearing just her pyjamas. Now, the thing is, this was at 1:45am. And she was accompanied by her mother. Seriously...I mean, who thinks "Going to the shops with mum, at night, I'll wear my PJs". And she acted like it was the most natural thing in the world, like everyone does it. Ok then... And, as always, The Bombshell's continued fight against the English language is hilarious. Today he treated me to "I am in warehouse!" "I am outside!" Both time whilst standing a few feet away from me on the shop floor. The last comment prompted me to say "No, you are INSIDE!" And I cannot wait for Shoe to come in this morning. She always does a canteen security check, to discover what belongs to whom. So, this morning she will discover a bag with six large bars of chocolate in. I have been mass buying chocolate for my girlfriend, who sadly, due to living in a dire, dire country, does not have easy access to Cadbury's chocolate. And certainly not access in any way to the different flavours. I have stepped in to remedy this for her, and her family. Because I am nice like that. And I also have to buy fudge, and mint humbugs! http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk Ok, so, if we're being technical about dates, this entry is technically being written just before the 12th January, but I am trying to be consistent with my blogging this year. Or at least more consistent than I have been in the past. Yesterday was crazy. I mean, really, properly crazy. Regulars will know that my Linux thing was cancelled, so, I decided to do my own thing and go to the local library for a few hours and study and listen to podcasts. Have enhanced battery and two laptops, will travel. Anyway, The Big Man Upstairs decided that I wasn't, and a quick search for the library opening times showed me that it was closed due to frozen pipes. So, I decided to go to Southampton anyway. Big Man was still having none of it. I bought my train tickets, and then discovered on the platform, to my horror, that my USB key which boots my eee (security device) was still at home sitting in my main laptop. So I had an eee which basically wouldn't function and no realistic way of getting the key. My beautiful new INQ1 from Three came to the rescue! Ok, it kind of actually just gave me a solution! So, I went to Maplin, home of geeky electronics, bought a 4gb USB key, went to The Bargates Internet Cafe, downloaded Unetbootin (stunning app, please try it and support it) and downloaded a new image of MacPup. The new MacPup is stunning. MacPup Foxy blew me away, but MacPup 411...wow. If you have a spare 512mb USB key laying around, I urge you to try this distro. It is amazing. And yes, 512mb IS enough. And you'd get 256mb storage for files easily... And after leaving the cybercafe hastily (may have broken their computer, not sure, one risky Unetbootin install broke the eee...) and headed for Pret-A-Manger which is far and away my favourite cafe in the world. I mean, where else has armchairs, free wifi, 99p coffee which tastes good AND is organic AND FairTrade, and has staff who encourage you to jump the queue if people are being arses. The people in front were debating over Coke or Oasis, and therefore, according to the manager, lost their place in line. Their protests were silenced with a "You lost your place, I am now serving this gentleman, wait your turn." My friend, I bow. Then I came back to my place, watched the extended QI repeat (I WILL have the "Damn You All!" text tone and "What You Need Is Width And Length" ringtone) and laughed myself silly, and then did a little coding on my new pet project nicknamed Despot. Now the only problem is that the program outshines me on poke knowledge, but the program is semi automatic and needs me to update it on position, which is a concept I seriously do not understand. I think a few days training myself via PartyPoker's Poker Trainer will assist me greatly! Plus I want to make it do a little trick. Something a few professional poker players do, and I want to replicate. I want it to play without knowing which cards it has. And yes, I do know how to do it, but my brain is mush after a heavy coding session yesterday. http://www.supermarketsoap.co.uk